One Line Jokes

• The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity!!
• Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
• Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
• Opinions are like assholes everyone has one!!
• A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
• Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
• People can be divided into three groups - those who can count and those who can't count.
• You can't buy love... but you pay heavily for it.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong.
• Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
• Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
• My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
• Law of the Non-smoker: The smoke in a room will always flow to the only non-smoker, despite the number of fans...
• It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
• Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause kids... If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
• Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
• If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of pending payments.
• There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
• If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.On my desk I have a work station.
• Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
• How do you get holy water?Boil the hell out of it.
• April 1st: The day we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with them.
• Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious

- Compilation -

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Tension

The Moment you are in Tension

You will lose your Attention

Then you are in total Confusion

And you will feel Irritation

Then you will spoil personal Relation

Ultimately, you won't get Co - Operation

Then you will make things full of Complication

Then your blood pressure may raise Caution

And you may have to take Medication

Instead, try to understand the Situation

And try to think of a Solution

Many problems will be solved by Discussion

This will work out better for your Profession

Don't think it's my free Suggestion

It's only for your Prevention

If you understand my Intention

You will never come across Tension

- Bill Gates -

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