One Line Jokes

• The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity!!
• Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
• Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
• Opinions are like assholes everyone has one!!
• A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
• Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
• People can be divided into three groups - those who can count and those who can't count.
• You can't buy love... but you pay heavily for it.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong.
• Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
• Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
• My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
• Law of the Non-smoker: The smoke in a room will always flow to the only non-smoker, despite the number of fans...
• It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
• Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause kids... If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
• Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
• If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of pending payments.
• There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
• If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.On my desk I have a work station.
• Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
• How do you get holy water?Boil the hell out of it.
• April 1st: The day we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with them.
• Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious

- Compilation -

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